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‎‎”Hello,” I said to an anonymous voice.‎‎”Okay, you caught us,” the male voice said. “I suppose you documented everything.”‎‎”You better believe it,” I said. ‎”You got sloppy and for nothing. I’m a worm farmer, nothing more.”‎‎”Don’t try to feed me shit like you do your worms,” the voice said.‎‎”You need to check your sources whoever they are I’m so clean I squeak. But my son and I plan to fuck your ass to the wall. I do assume we are both taping this so let me tell you what comes next. John and I go to the state police and demand an investigation. I will provide the bug and the copy of this tape. It was properly preserved for analysis. No doubt heads are going to roll.” I said.‎‎”Alright what the fuck do you want?” the voice asked.‎‎”Who am I speaking to?” I asked.‎There was a long pause then, “Chief Deputy Malloy,” was all he said.‎‎”I need to get with John to decide how to best handle this. I sure as hell don’t want any more harassment,” I said. “Surely your man or woman didn’t. "Shoot." She looked at her watch. "That took longer than I thought it would. You go upstairs and take a bath." But Mom..." No buts, I want your little brown butt in the bathtub and wash yourself good," she said on her way to the kitchen. "And, oh, Dani..." What?" I asked, my frustration showing."Do you ... I mean, have you ever..." she paused."Ever what?" Your pubic hair, down there on your, uh, sex. Do you shave at all?" Mom was giving me a sheepish look and I blinked at her."Do I shave between my legs?" I shook my head. "No, just under my arms sometimes." Do you have a lot of hair?" she asked and I had no idea why she was asking me that, or even how to respond."I don't know." I shrugged. "I have some." Okay, um ... I'll come up in a few minutes to look," Mom said and I was too stunned to answer.My mom hadn't seen me naked since I was thirteen probably, since I'd had my first wet dream and she'd bathed me, explaining what was going on and making me feel okay about my changing body. I.
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